daniel alexander

today i had to call 911 for the first time
it started out as a normal day, i woke up and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth
then went back into my bedroom to put on my clothes for the day
i began my descent down the stairs, humming a tune happy for the day ahead of me
as i get to the bottom of the stairs i start to make up my mind on what i want for breakfast
as i get closer to the kitchen i decide on cereal. maybe count chocula or even my 2009 limited edition frosted flakes featuring the syracuse university sports alumni.
walking into the kitchen i notice 2 unknown dark figures in the pantry
i hide behind the couch trying to see who or what it could be
all i can hear is a lady who sounds like grandma but i have a feeling she doesn’t want to give me any cookies. i also hear animal grunting as it eats as if it had been in hibernation for 2049 years.
the animal sounds get louder and i hear sniffing
the animal can smell me
in one leap this animal leaps across the kitchen and tackles me as i try to run away
my eyes are closed and all i can feel is food that this animal was eating dropping onto my face. all the twinkies i hid behind the box of oatmeal now covers my face. the v8 juice that no one drank drips from its mouth as if it were were goats blood. so i open my eyes and cant believe what i am seeing
its tony the tiger
a huge talking tiger is on top of me what do i do
before i can react a person walks up behind tony, im guessing it was this other shadowy person i saw in the pantry with tony
i hear a voice like grandma telling tony to get off and tie me up to a chair
tony ties me up in my own kitchen as the person walks up behind me
she smells like syrup, she walks in front of me and its aunt jemima
i have never been so scared of a grandma aunt in my entire life. the way she walks around is chilling. her hair drips syrup and her shoes are made of actual pancakes making her a walking syrup mop
they tell me they have escaped from the food containers/boxes in my pantry
they want to fulfill the prophecy and summon all their other food friends
i still cant believe i am being held hostage by tony the tiger and aunt jemima
these are the last food people i would expect to see hold me hostage
i cant lie seeing famous amos and chester the cheetah would have been pretty cool though
i reach for my iphone happy i upgraded to the 4s so i can talk to siri who is trapped in my pocket
i tell siri to call 911 its an emergency, the operator picks up as i tell her i am being held hostage by aunt jemima and tony the tiger
she doesn’t believe me, i am stuck in this chair forever
help im still here and that silly rabbit just hatched from the cereal box and theres not really any kids to tell him what to do I'm scared

daniel alexander is a 19 year old college student and currently in the process of writing his first book.  visit his blog at snckpck.blogspot.com.